One of my favorite songs by The Incredible Erykah Badu is “Bag Lady”! I especially love the lyrics “bag lady you gone miss your bus draggin all those bags like that, I guess nobody ever told you all you must hold onto is you” to this day that song resonates with so many women; however as a young girl I never truly understood the meaning behind the song.
It is imperative to unpack your s***! We must rid ourselves of any dead weight and excessive baggage that we have stored away. When we don’t deal with our problems, or we take on this dismissive persona as if it doesn’t affect us; all we are truly doing is adding more baggage to our lives. Believe it or not, we carry with us those hurts, disappointments, failures, insecurities, pain, invalidations, and experiences so when they are not handled appropriately they often times linger. Just think of it as having unprocessed bile that is poisoning your mental health and stability!
Sorting through your emotional baggage will allow you to take back control of the Rings of your life, because it won’t have power over you anymore! Secondly, it will be freeing because it will allow you to heal and ultimately grow from it. For instance coming to terms with childhood experiences and taking a significant amount of time to not only heal from it, but overcome it then making the conscious decision to not allow it to affect your life anymore is a major way that you can unpack your s***! A great example of this is me having a conversation with my family about X, Y, & Z and us coming to an mutual understanding about it and then me deciding to put a period on it.
Letting go is another form of unpacking your s***! When you don’t let go of the pain and hurt from a toxic relationship that carries with you. It taints your perception and creates problems thus creating more baggage. Because you didn’t take the time to let go and heal from such experiences, you have now created more problems such as trust issues, insecurities, and jealousy to name a few. Think of it is having a form of PTSD, because you didn’t take the time to deal with your problems or issues you have now created a life where you are in a constant state of worry! Not only that you’re guarded and your alarms are up (meaning your on high alert), because you live in fear of the same thing happening again.
This generally creates two separate types of outcomes when you don’t take the time to unpack your s***! One example is because you are on such high alert, you push people away intentionally; thus leaving no room for New Beginnings. Secondly, if you do so happen to move on to another relationship you will eventually end up self sabotaging that budding relationship, because you haven’t taken the time to deal with your issues. Understand that although, it is commendable for someone to want to help you get through your issues, it is not their Responsibility! You are in control of your own healing, and it is daunting and selfish of you to put that type of expectation on someone else especially, if you don’t want to do it for yourself!
Taking the time to unpack your shit in terms of “YOU” is the scariest because it leaves no room for blame; which forces you to be accountable. The two most common reasons why people don’t want to unpack their shit is because 1.) It’s uncovers the truth. 2.) It reveals the pain. These two revelations leaves you to be exposed, which in turn exposes your vulnerability! Although, doing so is scary it’s important for your healing process and overall growth!
Join me next week as we dive more into details about what it means and what it takes for you to unpack your shit! Understand that it will not be easy, but it will be worth it! Peace & Love!