I’m sure we have all been in a situationship or two LOL; where we ignored the obvious signs. Somehow we talked ourselves into a fake reality believing that eventually they will come around. We convinced ourselves that they must feel the same way we do and left absolutely no room for any doubt. So we made countless excuses and exemptions for their suspect behavior and actions.
Eventually if you remove the blinders you will see things for how they truly are! Don’t listen to your heart, nor your feelings, or don’t make rash decisions off of the connection that you think ya’ll share. Disregard everything an listen to your intuition as Karla Ivankoviah says your gut feeling has a sixth sense and uncanny wisdom. Below I will address the most common signs that a man uses when he doesn’t want to commit.
One of the biggest misconceptions that women have revolve around a man’s effort and consistency. Women must stop confusing the efforts of a man that wants you with those of a man that values you. Just because he seems consistent doesn’t mean anything i have personal experiences where a guy has went above and beyond to get me and once he got me he still dropped the ball. Keep your eyes open and Pay attention because the answer will be crystal clear.
- Inconsistency is a clear indication that a man does not want to commit especially if he starts switching up and becoming distant. If he can go days without talking to you or seeing you that is a problem: especially if he’s just a regular Joe! Don’t believe the hype men love to talk and they love to be stimulated by you; so if he’s not making an effort to see you than you know what’s up!
- Going Ghost is another sign that a man does not want to commit. If he is unresponsive to your calls, text, or etc then that is pretty evident that he’s not interested!
- My personal favarite is The Pop Game. Don’t be confused this is still a sign that a man does not want to commit! Depending on how far you are in the Letting go Process (*sidenote see my blog on letting go) this one can trip you up: because you may confuse his intentions with those of a person who’s genuine; and if you are not completely over him its only human nature to be eagered and happy to hear from him so you slowly began to drop your guard. Understand that the Pop Up Game is nothing other than him trying to see if he still has the Juice! It’s all about him boosting his ego to see if he can still have you on his own terms; Grant it you may have truly crossed his mind, but not in a way that you would have hoped; it’s still all about what you can do for him. Truth be told he’s popping up to see if the door is still open and quite frankly to see if he can get his dick wet! I know that was harsh, but it is the truth.
- Constant Excuses and Lies are signs that a man does not want to commit! It’s simple people make time for what’s important to them.
- When he tells you in subtle ways that he doesn’t want to commit you need to listen! Don’t try to change his mind he is letting you know what his position is. Below are the most common lines he’ll drop on you trust me I’ve heard them all before….It’s not the right time! It’s not you it’s me bullshit! I’m trying to get myself together! I don’t have time! I’m not looking for anything right now! I just wanna be friends!
- When he doesn’t share or invite you into his life this is a sign that he does not want to commit, but also he’s not going to be around long term! Men are needy, they love to share, and they want to know that their woman is supportive of them. If the man your dating knows more about your life than you do about his then that’s a huge RED FLAG! EXAMPLE…He knows your routine, he knows your place of business, where you work at, where you live at, he even knows your intimate at home life; however you only know bits and pieces of certain information about him. Nothing that’s deep or substantial, he tells you just enough to get you comfortable, but not enough to leave an impression. In circumstances like this it is much easier for him to walk away, but not so much for you because you are attached to him.
- If he is Emotionally Unavailable that is a sign that he doesn’t want to commit. If he avoids serious conversations with you or checks out whenever you put pressure on him thats a sign; because not only is he being disrespectful he’s showing you that he doesn’t care. So realize that how you feel doesn’t mean anything to him. The truth is that most men love to fix things, don’t necessarily like to hurt the women that they love, also they love to be right, and love to be heard so if he’s not putting any effort into trying to voice his opinion or putting any effort and energy into meeting you half way than you know what’s up.
- This one is rare, but if a man is on the up an up and he appears to be straight forward with you about his position and hasn’t given you any suspect behavior; then one reason he may not want to commit to you is because he simply doesn’t have his shit together. Men who were raised in a solid foundation are very prideful and most men love to be needed opposed to be taken care of. So having stability, goals, and a sense of vision for his life is more important.
- What you allow in the beginning of the relationship sets the tone so make sure you’re not leading with SEX! If the two of you haven’t already made a decision about the logistics and the direction that the relationship is going towards prior to having sex with one another then the likelihood of him committing to you is slim-to-none. Understand that if you don’t make any requirements of him and you make yourself too available then for the most part he will think you’re fun; someone to past time with but definitely not someone to commit to. It’s simple don’t give it up so easily, because men love a challenge. So regardless of whatever he says you are being Tested! Hold your position and make him work for it; by doing this you truly hold the ball in your court! *SIDENOTE they do really love women who holds themselves to a higher standard… it’s a turn on even though some will deny it!
- Lastly irrational behavior on your part can be one of the reasons that he doesn’t want to commit. If you constantly blowing up his phone, don’t give him any space, acting too codependent and needy so early on, overly jealous, quick to get angry and disrespectful, or turn violent quickly these are not good signs. Men love women that is going to give them peace so these are huge red flags of how the relationship is going to be. Men also love loyalty so if he feels like you can’t be trusted he is not going to commit.
The next time you are dating someone and he starts to exhibit any of these signs that are not a direct reflection of your behavior, misjudgment, or wantingness to overlook his discretions back off immediately! Don’t waste your time with trying to figure him out understand that it’s his loss and quite honestly you don’t need him! He’s taking up space, clouding your judgement, and Blocking your Blessings!✌&❤