Finding Balance in ( Relationships, Money, & Self)

Have you ever felt like there simply wasn’t enough time in the day or wish that you could borrow time from the next day. I know I have on multiple occasions. With me being a single parent and trying to balance everything that goes along with that such as spending quality time, school, school work, maintaining a household and providing food and shelter as well as a host of other things. Also juggling two jobs and trying to maintain a safe work/home life balance. While also finding time to use bloging as an tool and outlet to help not only myself but others; while still pursuing other business ventures most days can be pretty busy. However, I have it all under control now and I am proud to say I live a much better Balanced Life! Which has open the door for me to be able to see things more clearly because now I am more focused than I have ever been. Whether you believe it or not a well-balanced person has the advantage to focus there attention and energy on attaining their goals.

I used to live a very imbalance life. On the outside everything seemed fine; however, I struggled and had problems in the area of finding balance in my life as it pertains to Myself, Money, and Relationships whether it was with my daughter, family, friends, & etc.

Several things happened over a course of time to help me obtain balance in respects to my relationship with other people. For my daughter I had to realize that I’m only one person. I can’t do it all because I’m not Superwoman. I’m only human! Once I became okay with this realization it was easier.

In order to help alleviate some of the added pressure and stress of motherhood, as my daughter became older I started to have open and honest conversations with her about certain situations pertaining to responsibilities, money, quality time, and etc. I would relay it to her in a way that she would be able to obtain the message but not overwhelm her. Which in turn created balance for me, but also gives her the chance to build character because since she is more aware she is more understanding and considerate.

For example if she wanted me to attend a certain program at school or wanted to have a random family outing, but it interfere with my schedule; I would tell her that I wouldn’t be able to make it or we couldn’t do it because it interfered with my prior obligations and responsibilities. By me stop appeasing her every wish that was a major relief! I feel like sometimes as parents we try to do everything for our children sometime at the cost of us in an effort to make up for something we may be feeling guilty about; or because we try to give them the life that we didn’t have. This method of using communication to create balance can also be applied for reducing your spending habits when it comes to buying excessive things for your children as well. Communicating with them about your current Financial situation can be helpful because it allows you to stay on task and within budget.

When it comes to finding balance in my other relationships, I simply created boundaries. Only you know what they are and what they should be. For me personally, I alleviated my toxins! I removed myself from any relationship that I felt was harmful. An unbalanced relationship is one of the major causes as to why you’re feeling imbalanced. If you’re in relationships with people rather platonic or romantic and it feels very one-sided you need to re-evaluate them because eventually all it will do is frustrate you and further drain you. If you’re the only person plouring into the relationship and all they’re doing is reaping the benefits then that’s a problem! You should also be mindful of these other examples: perhaps you’re the friend that initiates contact first in these cases either distant yourself from these people or know your position. Remeber that all relationships need nourishment so be sure to nurture the ones that matter most. Another prime example is when your friends and family consult you for counsel. In which you have given them advice, however they continue not to use it, but want to continue to vent to you about the same problems. In these instances being blunt about your position is key! As soon as they call and once you are able to gauge where the conversation is going stop them in the tracks by telling them you don’t want any parts of it. Don’t allow them to constanty continue to feed you negative energy.

Another great concept to get used to that is helpful in achieving a more Balanced Life is telling people “NOOOOOO” and not feeling guilty or apologetic about it. HOLD YOUR STANCE FIRMLY! If a friend calls you and wants you to attend a gathering, but it conflicts with your schedule or any prior engagements that you have be comfortable and tell them NO. It really doesn’t matter if you didn’t have anything planned at all; perhaps you just wanted sit at home and eat a bowl of ice cream that would be perfectly okay! Stop jumping every time someone says jump! You’re not a puppet and this isn’t Simon Says.

In order to find Balance in your life when it come to Money you have to know what’s your relationship with Money. What is your perception? Do you view it as a toy or a tool? Take a closer look at your behavior to see. Do you have a care free attitude about money…meaning you value it as a luxury something to spend and enjoy, or on the other hand you view it as an Asset which you use to grow and build so you are more calculated and responsible.

Identifying your relationship to Money helps tremendously, but it also put things into perspective when it comes to setting financial goals. It forces you to tighten up if you are someone who is irresponsible. You will have to learn how to make sacrifices, but also be self disciplined when it comes to making unnecessary transactions. For me personally that meant cutting down on my expenses; I’m not a materialistic person, but my big demon was Food. I’m a foodie! So I had to cut down on eating out so often. The ultimate goal is to be on a even playing field which you can’t do until you get on top of your finances! Look at the bigger picture so you should always be thinking long term; this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t treat yourself, however you should use caution and discretion. The next step would be to “Make a budget” and “Stay on Track”. What ever you do don’t stray from it Consistency is key! I would also seek counsel if necessary, but mainly educate myself on finances and other resources that I could use to gain a more financial healthy lifestyle.

Let’ not forget about the “Survivor’s Remorse” when it comes to Money especially when you have a giving spirit! This alone can have you feeling like you’re in a whirlwind and off balance!

Have you ever felt like an HUMAN ATM$$$$$$, I KNOW I HAVE! Saying “NO” is especially important when it comes to family, friends, and money. Realize that you cannot help everybody! Even if you’re in a position where you have discretionary income understand that’s for your financial security. I learned a long time ago to stop making faulty financially decisions in efforts to help other people, because in reality I was only making it more strenuous on myself. When family or friends call you wanting you to be their Savior and ask you to borrow money or any other assets that you may have get comfortable with telling them no and trust and believe that they will be okay and they will find another way.

One of the most important relationships that you need to have balance in is the relationship with “Yourself”. Let’s think about it in a literal sense; balance means to have an equal distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady. So in order for you to obtain this type of balance within oneself you must Self Reflect! You need to dig deep to figure out the things that you want, need, and any areas where you may be neglecting yourself. Self-reflection is vital when it comes to obtaining balance in your life, because it allows you to mirror back any areas of yourself that you may need to work on/adjust. It’s also helpful because it allows you to be open and honest with yourself about two things. What current state you’re in? & Where you envision yourself to be? Doing this will help you get a clear understanding about your priorities: so that you will be able to cut down on any unnecessary task; which opens space for you to began to work on yourself, but also your goals. As I mentioned earlier balance equates to Focus and some might argue Peace!

Some more simpler tools you can use is to find Balance in your life is Time Management! Learning how to manage your time well is a plus, because if you utilize our time well you can get alot done; you’ll be surprised how far being organized can take you. Another tool that is helpful in obtaining Balance is combating Procrastination. All procrastination does is rob you of your time and quite honestly it’s a form of laziness and it’s also a huge character flaw. It says to two things about you, the first being that you’re irresponsible and secondly that you don’t care. The truth is Time is the most precious and valuable asset that you’ll ever have so use it well.

In closing the last step that is Helpful in achieving balance within oneself is Daily Self Care! YES SELF CARE!!!! You may be wondering what that is, in recent years it has taken on many definitions. I simply view self care has taking the necessary time to regroup, depress, and relax. Taking this time will truly help you function as your best self! Some great recommendations for self care is physical touch, yoga, writing/journaling, meditating, or funny videos because we all know that laughter is good for the soul. Music and dancing is also some great alternatives, however nothing trumps my personal favorite Me time! Personal time is life, because it allows you to be alone, but also get in tune with yourself with out any distractions. Taking only 10-15 mins in the morning and several times throughout the day to practice Self Care is the least you can do considering the fact that most of our time does not revolve around us. Start today by changing the narrative. Make a Commitment to Stop putting yourself Last and Start putting yourself First! Tackle your life and get on top of Balance, you’ll thank me for it later.❇

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