I used to believe that once you lost the personal connection and the attachment to that person that all of the steps were complete, however I believe that’s the furthest thing from the truth; because although you have completed the “Letting Go” part you have not finished the last and final step which is to “Overcome It”.

Below I will list a step-by-step assessment of what I believe are the different phases of “The Letting Go” process. My Hope Is that you’ll be able to not only connect, but also incorporate it into your lives in an effort to not only let go of your past relationships but overcome them.


– Understanding that the Relationship as come to an end; and dealing with the pain, hurt, sense of failure and ultimately DISAPPOINTMENT that surfaces as a result of.


– Losing the attachment to that person, but more importantly the Dependency. Adjusting to your new life apart from them.


– In all Aspects of your Life. Letting go of the Emotional, Physical, and Sexual Connection that you have with that person. This phase takes the longest because Women are naturely emotionally invested. Not only do we give relentlessly it is hard for most women to detach sexually. For me personally I use to struggle a great deal with detaching myself sexually from someone that I’ve been intimate with especially if we are sexually compatible. Ultimately I had to learn that although we still may be sexually compatible the overall relationship dynamic is not good for me.


– Releasing and Dissolving yourself of all of the bad blood, but also coming to a place where you can forgive them for any of their transgressions, but also accept accountability for the part you played and FORGIVE YOURSELF!

– Arguments

– Fighting

– Disrespectful Behavior or below the belt insults

– Feeling of Anguish toward the other person because perhaps they may have dropped the ball, didn’t meet your expections, or in my case they are not pulling their weight as they should be especially if children are in the picture. Realize and Understand that it has nothing to do with you; it actually speaks to their character and not allow it to affect you in a negative way.

-Release any Anger, Pain, Hurt, or any Unresolved Resentment that you may be feeling toward them and not allow this to constantly replay in your psyche or cause you to mistreat someone else for other people mistakes.

Having a Clear Mind and Open Heart

Coming to a place of Harmony and Peace. So that you may be open and Receptive to New Possibilities and New Begining.





-Free of Animosity


  1. Obviously I have some anger built because when the person name is mentioned a sense of anger takes over. The fact that I stayed and allowed it is what really upsets me the most. I’m so angry and disappointed with myself. How long is it before you can forgive that person and yourself?


    1. The first step in forgiveness is acknowledgement, secondly is acceptance, and thirdly is forgiving yourself. Being upset is a normal reaction, however it doesn’t fix anything! Crying symbolizes release which ultimately equals freedom. How long it will take depends on you and how long your going to hold on to something that serves you no purpose. Until you are ready to take inventory of the damage you done to yourself by allowing such behavior then you will never be at peace. We can try some alternative exercises to help you start the process!


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