Anger is a feeling that we all know too well. We have all experienced anger at some point in our lives. Anger itself is not a bad thing, it’s an emotion that we feel when we are offended or when something is offensive to us whether directly or indirectly. It could be caused by an indifference, frustration, disrespect, hurt, or pain. However, the problem occurs when you start to take on the Persona of an angry person. Ask yourself one simple question. Are you an Angry Person? This can take various forms so ask yourself what this might look like? You may have a very short temper or low tolerance level when you’re offended. Perhaps you’re someone that constantly yells and screams when you’re upset and because you don’t know how to communicate or express yourself through your words you become overly aggressive. Maybe you’re a loose cannon that lacks self-control, so you become destructive; you may become physically abusive to yourself, others, or destroy objects around you. Anger doesn’t have to always be explosive or expressed externally; perhaps you’re a person like me that tries to be in control of your emotions all the time so you express your anger more internally. You may cry when you feel angry or upset opposed to showing an external reaction, shut down, or even withdraw yourself whenever you’re feeling hostile.
Believe it or not Anger creates some of the most unreasonable and irrational people! Oftentimes the Anger morphs into other negative characteristics such as spitefulness, maliciousness, revenge, or retaliatory behavior. I’m not disputing that anger is the main cause for someone portraying this type of dysfunction, because I do know that these characteristic traits may also be tied to someone’s personality: however I believe that the underlying anger helps fuel the action itself. How many cases have you seen or personal experiences have you been involved in when a person was so angry that they begin to behave irrationally? Examples of this is a hurt and angry woman who decides to break or throw things to try to channel her anger often times being her own belongings. Another example is a man that punches holes in walls or threaten to harm you or even possibly threatens to take possession that he’s bought because he is angry. One common example that I see too often are people using their children as bait, because they’re so hurt and angry that try to hit below the belt so they try to control what they think will hurt you the most.
In order to effectively manage our anger we have to first acknowledge and accept that we may be an angry person. Embracing it will be the key to tackling it. This doesn’t mean that you’re necessarily overcome it totally, by not expressing it at all because that is unhealthy, however you’ll be able to manage it in a way that is more conducive and constructive for you.
The second most vital component will be to figure out why you’re angry. If you’re still harboring over past experiences that you’ve never truly came to terms with this is major problem; because since you haven’t let it go it’s still negatively impacting you. I cannot stress enough how important it is for you to make amends with your past because often times are past experiences fuel our behavior in a negatively manor. Unaddressed and unresolved issues, life experiences, or hurt and pain creates not only resentment and bitterness but ANGER! Why continue to feed old wounds when you can heal from it?
Identifying your triggers will be the next most important thing. Triggers are the things that get you going; these can be words, physical actions, body language, facial expression, and etc.
Stay tuned for Part 2 as we go into further details about other healthier tools and principles we can use to adpot a better method to effectively manage our Anger. 1❤