I have always tried to keep a very optimistic and positive attitude on life. I don’t know if it came from losing my father at such an early age or from watching my mother struggle through life so triumphantly; as a young girl she would make it look so easy. Over the years: I have mastered handling adversities, obstacles, and managing challenges that appear in life. That’s where my strength comes from, and I believe it’s honestly one of my greatest qualities. However, I have never been able to cope well with REJECTION.
Prior to my liberation Rejection was my demon; As it relates to Romantic Relationships! Why? Honestly because I always internalized it as a personal attack. It seemed to magnify the insecurities that I already felt; also I interpreted rejection as a invalidation to myself worth. When you are rejected by someone you love or someone who knows the depths of you or even by someone who knows you on a personal and intimate level it is crushing. You feel low, vulnerable, inadequate, but mostly it shatters the foundation on much of what you thought you could depend on.
One of the things that has been most helpful for me with combating Rejection is overcoming my many insecurities. I feel like if you’re a person that’s emotionally solid and stable: who’s secure in your skin, as well as your abilities; then is not as damaging when you are rejected. This doesn’t mean that you have a distorted way of thinking or perception and believe that you are somehow superior to flaws or imperfections; however it will give you the advantage and flexibility to be able to look at rejection from another angle. It will allows you to not internalize the rejection and make it solemnly about you or what you’re lacking. We must keep in mind that there are various reasons why rejection happens.
One of the reasons people reject others could be that the person is simply not ready to give you the things that you want, need, and are seeking. Have you ever heard of the phrase you “Can’t Pour From An Empty Cup” well that is true! If the person has not matured and evolved enough then the easiest thing to do would be to walk away, because in my experience it’s too much pressure. Another thing to be mindful of when you’re dealing with rejection is that some men feel that if their not contributing enough to the relationship whether physically, financially, or sexually they will begin to feel emasculated which will result in them rejecting you in order to feel a sense of pride.
Secondly, their intentions with you were never true! This one hurts mostly because usually deception is in the equation. It is sad but the reality is that most people will not tell you what their true intentions are with you, because in doing so it most likely will affect the goal that they’re trying to meet. Yes, I know this one sucks! I have too Falling prey to this several times. We must get out of the mindset that if we’re good to a person and we give them everything that they want/need that they will somehow DO RIGHT BY US. That’s b******* ladies, sorry to be the messenger! That is a foolish way to think, especially when you’re dealing with people. I’m sure we are all familiar with the phrase “The Nicest People Get Treated The Worst”; well that is true. People can be malicious, conniving, manipulative, devious, and downright low down so if they have to lie, betray, or deceive they will do whatever it takes to get what they want. When you realize this you will be better off! Remember, that a partnership is equal: so if a person has you jumping over hoops, making little to no effort, or the relationship appears to be one-sided this is a clear red flag that this person is either using you or they don’t have the right intentions for you. In this case if or when you find yourself in this type of situation and you don’t have the willpower to leave or accept the facts. Understand that rejection is the best thing that could have happened for you; because you don’t need to continue to attach yourself to someone or something that is not serving you or adding value to your life. This is truly a blessing in disguise!
Thirdly, they may have simply changed their minds. Yes, I get it this sucks but hey look nothing is set in stone. People have the right to change their minds. I feel as long as a person is upfront with you about their position then that’s all that you can expect, because at least they were open and honest about how they were feeling. This doesn’t mean that you are NOT GOOD ENOUGH for someone or something it simply means that whatever you have to OFFER and whatever is NEEDED by the other person are no longer the same. Being mindful of your differences is important.
There are possibly other reason why rejection occurs, however taking yourself out of the equation helps to soften the blow. True enough it is going to hurt, because that is someone that you shared a connection with regardless of how long or how deeply or even prehaps possibly a life. The next time you are facing rejection from a romantic aspect you should do three things . 1.) Grieve the loss however don’t get stuck there. 2.) Don’t allow yourself to become angry and resentful. 3.) Redirect your focus. Redirecting your focus is vital because it allows you to not get hung up on the pain, loss, or the personal connection which helps you move on and it speeds up the process of healing.
Once you are able to look a REJECTION in a positive light then it gets easier. Understand that Rejection is a life lesson and tool that you can use to learn from that will make you better and stronger. Although, something has come to an end that doesn’t mean that you failed at it. Oftentimes it opens the door to New Opportunities and New Possibilities; because we all know that an ENDING IS A NEW BEGINNING.1❤